It's all about choices: the Matrix is real. We Are Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience.

It's all about choices: the Matrix is real. We Are Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience.

About Me

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Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, New Hampshire, North Carolina, NY/NJ, Tennessee, Washington...the U.S., and Southeast Asia & China, United States
With a B.A. in psychology and a masters in education, I'm a psychological counselor-advisor, college professor-academic adviser, writer, music journalist: a Cosmic Tuning Fork; LightWorker; Intuitive Mentor. I Activate People in understanding their Life Goals, individual Soul Lessons, and Inner Truths to achieve personal growth & happiness, and have fun too. I am called Starman by my tribal family; the turtle is our totem animal.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Life Cycles: Women & Men

Oh, my.  When did we get older and turn into our parents?  (Or maybe even our grandparents?!)  Well, it's part of the Cycles of Life--and we all will experience them--the good and the not-so-good.   But we all have to confront this--because no one outruns the inevitable clock of Mortality.  Yes, we have options:  some including hormone replacement, ending our marriage, or maybe--just learning to adapt.  Either way for either gender:  it's a look in the mirror that makes the face we knew that much more different--for better or worse.  Along with this comes decisions to be made--and our bodies will tell us what we don't want to hear but need to respect:  we are here on this earth for a varied number of years.  What we have accomplished may not really be measured in a paycheck, nor may it be in the wealth we accumulated--or even in the size and measure of our family.

Gail Sheehy does a remarkable job in gathering men of different ages and occupations and getting them to do what men are most reluctant to reveal:  what's on their mind about the process of aging, the fears that go with it, what thresholds have been crossed, and how the experiences have changed the participants.  These vital parts of the male life cycle are not Sheehy's words, but those of the men whose lives make this book worthwhile.  It is their wisdom shared, of gains, losses, pains, worries, and ultimately, their insights.  A key is the realization that they  are no longer King of the Mountain--that they're vulnerable to physical changes that are frightening.  Sheehy lets them show why as men, we are reluctant to share them with other men lest we be seen as weak and incapable, and unwilling to share them with the women in our lives lest we be seen as undesirable and lacking the potency and strength that was our banner in younger years. 

Men, here's what awaits ALL of us in the XY-chromosome future:  the fight for our competitive nature (the buck deer at its best), power and achievement, reflections on what-could-have-been, then a loss of muscle tone, hair down the bathroom drain (and the bald patch at the crown of the scalp), and--yes, it's real: "andropause," aka "male menopause" (such as not performing as well in bed when it counts because testosterone levels have significantly declined).  Inevitably, there comes the time of mentorship and reflection.

In a similar-but-different way, Joan Borysenko looks at the uniqueness of the feminine life cycle, concentrating on the three components that make women different from men:  the spiritual lessons, the physical changes, and the mental attunement gained from relationships, social networking, childbearing years, and ultimately, the loss of a husband or partner and the rechanneling of goals set aside in early years.  Borysenko uses the birth-to-death story of a fictitious female to show how women connect via right-brain activity to the wholeness of life, and what steps are taken and passed by through the years of raising a family (later to be walked in again in a new view after menopause has released the body from obligations), and the empowerment of purpose and goals that were set aside are now to be reclaimed with new vigor and fulfillment.  What Borysenko truly establishes is that the Feminine Life Cycle is one of continued gifts and blessings of Knowledge--and that women of all ages are more attuned to maintaining and preparing society for the repeating renewal of life and death.  

Ultimately, she reveals how females are prepared by the triad of life cycles (biology, psychology, and spirituality) to be Guardians of society, and how to prepare not only themselves for significant gains, but their families and partners.  In one continued thread of detail, she explains how neurotransmitters and the endocrine system prepare a female for a lifetime of messages not only about herself and the needs of her body, but how to incorporate it into an ongoing evolving tutorial to be respected and recognized as vital and unique.

I've personally bought and given at least 50 of Borysenko's books as gifts; I've found them available at for as low as one cent plus s/h, and I've given away a similar number of Sheehy's.  It does not matter which gender is the recipient; I strongly urge both men and women to learn not only about themselves, but about each other--and to share the wisdom that will be found.  The results can only be for the betterment of someone's life--and potentially, the gain of our future as the collective family of Man and Womankind.

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